THE COURAGE TO BE DISLIKED!

Of all the skills that I would like to equip, this one tops the first because I believe that this is one which makes most of the potential people to step back a bit and feel overwhelmed before doing anything that they had always wanted to do. 

The idea of writing on this did not occur to me even while reading the book, "The Courage to be Disliked" written by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi but when I read more about "Digital Minimalism" and sat down leisurely and thought about what our parents had always told us when we complained them that we could not do certain things. 

There comes a time in life where we start believing that our parents were right when they said that all of the 1008 problems we own are because of this cell phone. 

Earlier when I was in my school, the days when I didn’t own a cell phone I used to dream of flipping one and talking to my brother to ask how he is doing while I watch my tuition teacher fiddling with it instead of teaching me Chemistry, those were the days. 

Nowadays, I can’t wait to reach over to my phone in the gaps where my laptop troubles me from functioning normally, I am reminded of the days where I took study breaks by spending filling my pens with the ink from the filler, watch each and every drop of ink being injected inside the cartridge and would love every stroke of my pen writing my name and the favourite people’s names with their designations while I’m supposed to finish my homeworks. 

These days all I dream of is whether people will judge me based on what I’ve posted and even get dreams that alarms me about the posts that I’ve posted, I mean why should that happen? 

WHAT IS THE REASON? 

All of us would have had definitely heard this from our parents - That all of our problems are because of our mobile phones and now it is indeed true. 

The more we felt the urge to not be left out and not own the fear of missing out, the more have we put ourselves in a very pathetic state where it had increased our anxieties thus turning us into people who we really came across virtually ignoring our respective individualities. Less did we knew that anybody can be anybody without the fear of judgements and live peacefully. The access has become too flexible for people to know what are your stands and your opinions to judge you and become prejudiced of you and your attitudes. The tastes, likes and dislikes have become the yardsticks to be liked and included in a group which is not sincere and is demeaning. 

But the sad part is, that is what we run behind. 

Even if I am aware of this, sometimes I think more than twice if the posts I share will be liked by others or will they pass on a comment about it, this had increased the veracity of not focusing over real important issues in life. It has become so easy for people to talk more than listen to really understand what people are up to, I have seen many relationships deteriorate because of the drugging effect of wanting to be like others, the more envious people become to have something others have and own all these disrupts and corrupts the system making us even more weaker and immune to all insecurities in life. 

I CANNOT FORCE MYSELF TO BE LIKED BY OTHERS AND IT IS BEYOND MY CONTROL

If my friend's genre is Politics and he does not have a opinion on the subjects I choose to write on then he can only connect with those who's interests are as similar to his even if he is my friend, if I do not respect it then it is my bad and I cannot stop and force myself to write on subjects he wants me to write, I can maybe try to his wishes but I cannot enforce myself and feel anxious to write stuffs I really want to write about with the fear of losing a friend reading my work. Anybody who is of my interests would be benefitted out of it. 

If my friend is not able to acknowledge the mistake on his side and tends to blame others when I had tried to make him understand about his fault, I am doing the right thing. And when he had turned up against you for pointing out his mistakes, then he is the one who is in trouble and I am not, his dislike towards me does not affect in any way as I cannot have such a hypocrite with me as it hinders my own peace and growth. 

If my friend is not patient enough to hear me out on why I have a trauma to swim, then I cannot satisfy his whims and fancies when he wants me to swim with him and I cannot trouble myself by worrying for the kind of disliked feeling he develops of me. I cannot lose myself in order to satisfy his invitation to accompany him doing things I feel uncomfortable with. It only means that he is not kind enough or empathetic to know what is wrong with me or if I am alright, all I can do is deny his invite and tell him that I am not okay and not be concerned if he dislikes me! 

If my students do not like me for how I react when the mistake is on their side then it is not under my control and all I can expect is to realize what they had done and for which I had reacted in a certain way. The intentions of every teacher differs, one would want to be popular amongst students, one would want to be called as a responsible teacher, one would want to be the teacher who is there to hear them out when needed and there are teachers who wants to make students learn and acknowledge their mistakes and so not all can be in one!

If the colleague who relied upon me no longer does it and befriends someone else over me then I cannot beat myself for losing a friend who asks my help for any as it is not in my control. Maybe, the colleague wants to hang out only for a need and not for the emotional support as I wanted then I cannot drain my energy worrying about why such a person is like that instead of accepting it and being okay with it and do my own job for which I was recruited there for.

Likewise, we cannot be too uptight to make someone like us, we are actually capable of doing it but the truth is it is like hurting our selves for this purpose and that is not fair to lead a happy and a grateful life as all we are doing is faking till we make someone to like us. The extent to where a person is sane or insane is based on how alright he is with the things that are happening around him and how he chooses to react over it. 

In this world of technology, we are rushed so much and forced to change our opinions, views and values in a matter of milliseconds in order to fit in this society and that is too much for a human brain to handle which is why the heart suffers and that is why we yearn for a long break from the fatigue this world had caused. Think of anybody who is now ruling this world, its not like they would not have worried about all these things, it is true that they would have chosen their own growth instead of all these things to worry about. 

Time, we think is plenty but in real it is not! May we spend it wisely and with the courage to be disliked because we cannot satisfy the whole world or in the end we are to lose ourselves for things we will later regret so much!