THINGS I LEARNT IN 25 YEARS!

It is very hard for me to admit but the truth is to be told - Years back when I was 18 or so I remember yelling at my sister in law that I am no longer a kid to be taught and monitored and I was on cloud nine for becoming an adult. Never did I know that I would regret what I said when I actually turn into an adult! 

Allow me to explain why I am writing this when people actually never care and even if they do they cannot spare a few minutes reading this. So let me be honest in why I am doing this - One, it is for me - I get a chance to ponder and retrospect on how far I have come and search the meaning for all these years I have spent with different people in 25 years. It is not like I worry ageing but I am now alright with evolving and learning something out of it. Two - People who are really interested in reading blogs like this one can actually gain something out of it. Now, coming back to business!

1. NO LONGER BELIEVE THAT EACH THING HAPPENS ONLY AT A CERTAIN AGE:

There are ancient stories like We get to understand certain things when we turn a particular age, say for example we learn a lot about ourselves when we turn 30, or things like "Life begins at 40".

It maybe true, I am not denying or would I rather like to argue on that, but to me I have learnt that if the intention and the willpower stays glued to the desired goal, then age does not intrude like an Indian neighbour. We have always given a control key to someone else and that is basically a story for any Indian or in general for Asians (From the books I have read and learnt) to always include everybody in our lives and ask their opinions even if they do not mean anything. So, anybody can come and blurt out things but ultimately the decision has to be mine because I am the only one crossing the hurdles.

2. EVERY FAILURE OF MINE WAS A VICTORY!

Its not like I haven't won anything in my life, but the view towards what success is has evolved over the years, people can rate and rank me in any social ladder but to me I have a different goal and ends at any point of time. I have worried, cried and sobbed so pathetically for days even if I haven't put on a face like that in front of everybody, but I now realize that all these times when I thought or this world made me a loser I was saved and this save was like a bonus time given for me by this Universe to make me think on how I can work on myself. I have been ridiculed for the way I look, for the skills I lack and still do but I no longer make those to weigh me to fit in this society. I have been mocked and I have handled it pretty well. My intrinsic nature of being grateful had always held me up from sulking in and going to the rock bottom. I have learnt to learn something out of those that did not turn up my way which is why I tend to not use the terms like "Success" and "Failure". 

3. TRIGGERS & GLIMMERS:

Anybody should be of liability to learn what their triggers and glimmers are as they are the ones responsible for getting us travel our paths and settle in places where we aspired to stand in the social ladder. Not everybody can understand us and the same goes with others too, there is no any obligation for anybody to do the same as well. By this, I also mean to say that we cannot hold someone accountable for any of our drawbacks which fosters in us the quality of handling our own shit by finding out how to rectify our mistakes and prevent our downfalls. I cannot keep blaming my friends if they have canceled any plan to which I have looked up for so much, the anger I hold for that incident would be my trigger which can extrapolate my negative feelings towards it and that person who caused to cancel the plan and here I can find my glimmer like I can think about what else can I do and feel grateful for not having the plan worked on as I could do any other things that can equate the fun that I anticipated in following up with the plan. I can redesign my thinking like, "Since the plan got canceled, I can maybe work on my Spanish lessons that time and get today's achievement in leader board". Likewise, finding my triggers and glimmers have helped me to have a good bonding with others as well as a stress free time within myself, I could also find my strengths and weaknesses out of it. 

4. I AM ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW I ACT AND NOT FOR HOW OTHERS REACT:

The elders or my parents won't agree with this as this may sound very cold but in reality, I have always put myself down often for how others had behaved with me, this had only left me in a dilemma on how to behave and this had been one of the factor for me to lose my individuality, but the moment I started realizing that you have no control with how others choose to behave with you, then what is the point in breaking your head for the same? I cannot lose my time and energy in asking my degrading friend to stop mocking at me or for not giving me constructive criticisms nor can I ask my Supervisor to have some empathy while delegating tasks. I can, but I think that is beyond my responsibility, but that which is possible is to choose what to take to my heart and what not to because at the end of the day, my real goal is to sleep peacefully without a heavy heart. I have got to choose my choices after pondering about them, I can maybe not expect too much from my Supervisor and understand that this is how they are built and with my friend, I can try to not take his/her words too seriously and have a boundary with them. 

5. NIKSEN - "THE ART OF DOING NOTHING":

I think this is the biggest asset I have with me right now and this lesson of my life had taught me steadiness, discipline, persistence, willpower, determination, confidence and optimism. This does not mean not doing anything at anytime, the time that is spent during this period is of worth that helps us to plan and manage well. This is the time that is spent to find out if we are lagging behind certain things in life, if we are hurting someone without our consciousness and if we have to address something or not. I might not be right with the authenticity of the concept that I am talking about but the act of doing nothing helps me get recharged when I have always worried and cried my heart out for the days that I have regretted to not have done something productively in a day, this habit had lead me to keep craving and watching the videos of productive people repeatedly which had become a very unhealthy habit as I began sabotaging myself for not being like others, this had made me feel unworthy. Once I took this step of not doing anything I have gathered strength to be myself unapologetically no matter what and love myself with all my flaws and imperfections. 

LESSONS ARE NOT YET OVER, GRATEFUL FOR ALL THE LESSONS LEARNT. 

THE ONE READING THIS, MAY YOU HAVE A GREAT TIME TOO.